


Capreolus Presents: A Cracktastic Tale

by Capreolus_de_France



Category: Pingu, Political RPF, Street Fighter, Sword Art Online (Anime & Manga), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Crack, Crack Crossover, Dinosaurs, F/M, Gen, Kebab is involved, Multi, Other, Out of Character, Scrabble, Space Pirates, Story within a Story
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-28
Updated: 2020-01-16
Packaged: 2021-02-18 21:50:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 4,084
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22000408
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Capreolus_de_France/pseuds/Capreolus_de_France
Summary: A collection of small Crack fic ideas coming straight out from my head and building a bigger story. Maybe. If I care.Well, that was the original idea. In January, I had trouble keeping up with the schedule, so it's no longer daily. But I'm still trying! ;)
Relationships: Kirigaya Kazuto | Kirito/Yuuki Asuna | Asuna, Steve Rogers/Dean Winchester
Kudos: 4





	1. Finding an idea

**Author's Note:**

> All of this is a work of fiction. No animal, human, item was physically harmed during the writing of any of those stories.  
> No psychological harm caused is intended.

"I'm bored", the author laments. "If only I had any idea what to write."  
A roe deer appears next to the author, holding a GameCube controller on its mouth.  
"Not yet, Joe." The author look back at their computer's screen, still showing a white, black Microsoft Word page. "I have work to do."  
Joe the roe deer drops the controller, and says to its owner with a deadpan tone: "You son of a bitch. Let me write something." The animal pushes the author, then starts typing the word "Pringles" 38 times with its hooves.  
"Joe." The author looks at their animal. "Did you eat all the Pringles?  
-Yes. I also ate all the Nutella while watching Die Harder.  
-But I don't have Die Harder on my DVD collection!  
-I've found a pirated copy with all dialog being dubbed in the most beautiful language in the world.  
-French?  
-No. Penguin.  
-You are the best animal I could have." The author points at the 9th "Pringles" word their roe deer wrote. "But this is meaningless."  
Joe the roe deer answers: "But what if Dean from Superatural ate 38 Pringles chips?  
-I'm sold. But I know nothing about Supernatural.  
-This is why the "Out-Of-Character" tag exists."  
The author goes to the kitchen, while Joe is still writing...


	2. 2 Fat 2 Furious

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A roe deer writes a story.

Dean Winchester is eating Pringles. Pringles. Pringles. Pringles. Pringles Pringles. Pringles Pringles. Pringles Pringles Pringles Pringles Pringles Pringles Pringles Pringles Pringles Pringles Pringles Pringles Pringles Pringles Pringles Pringles Pringles Pringles Pringles Pringles Pringles Pringles Pringles Pringles Pringles Pringles Pringles Pringles Pringles Pringles.  
A fully equipped Steve Rodgers, armed with his trusty shield, two Lightsabers, a non-portable Gatling gun strapped on his back and a BFG-9000, comes to Dean's bathroom. "Dean", Steve says, "we must save the world from space alien demon aliens for the 6th time this month."  
"I'm still training," his friend answers. "I'm getting fat."  
Steve is confused about the Pringles boxes lying on the floor and Dean lying shirtless inside the bath. "That's not training" he ejaculates, visibly upset.  
"Dude, think about it." Dean answers, his mouth full of Pringles. "I honestly think the demonic alien demons are invading the earthly realm because we are attractive people.  
Steve facepalms. "Where did you know this?"  
"I asked Castiel for life tips."  
A earthquake is heard in the bathroom. Dean raises up, screaming "What the fuck is that noise!?"  
"Watch your words," Steve says. "We have another war to win." Dean is loading his Desert Eagle and FF8-style gunblade, hastily wears his leather long coat and sunglasses, and grabs a bunch of grenade launchers. They both rushed outside, in the middle of a foggy day, where they saw a gigantic, oblong silhouette. Steve and Dean slowly walk toward the monster, only for the latter to scream a loud, ear-grating noise so loud, it gives Captain America headaches:

" **NOOT NOOT NOOOOOOOT!** "

"Sweet Jesus." Dean takes one step back in fear. "It's Pingu. I heard the rumors about it. It's one of the strongest spawns of Satan!"

Dean throws two grenade launchers at Pingu, but barely deals any damage to it. Pingu screams again, knocking out a star that falls next to Dean and Steve. But as everything seemed lost, Steve grabbed a small square-shaped token hidden in the back of his shield, a blank Scrabble tile, and threw it at Pingu's head.  
Pingu falls down its butt, shakes its head, and ejaculates a pained "Noot noot!"  
Dean was staring at the monster. "Good Lord... He wants to play the forbidden game." All he can go is mutter: Scrabble. Scrabble. Scrabble. Scrabble. Scrabble. Scrabble.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...Yeah, maybe writing a Supernatural crossover isn't the best idea in the world. I guess letting your roe deer write fanfiction without human supervision is a mistake.  
> Oh, and by the way, I'm the narrator of the story. I comment the story. Or I write random stuff in the notes.


	3. Oh, a message- eh, who cares

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The author takes their cereal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NOM NOM NOM

It's a standard day for the author. A person without a family, living alone in a small house. Like every other morning, in their shining white kitchen room, they took a bowl of Frosties with orange juice and milk. As in, Frosties and orange juice on the same bowl, with whole milk poured in a separate glass. While eating their flakes, like every morning, the author checks their e-mail box on their phone. And like every day, their e-mail box is filled to the brim with ads for cucumber-shaped "toys", political ads and Pinterest mails.  
Oddly, among the dozen of ads for the future American president is one written entirely in Turkish featuring a man named Recep, posing as a kebab maker. The author did throw that mail in a virtual bin, just like every other mail written in any language other than English, but gives them an idea: to call their friends for a walk through the city, where they can eat kebab.

They call their three best friends. First is Abby H., a fellow inspiring writer who wrote fanfictions with unusual pairings, the most well known being a lemon fic starring Kirito from Sword Art Online with Ada Hitler, a gender-flipped version of the infamous dictator. The author start the call  
"Hello, Abby.  
-Hi author!" Abby seemed very energetic, like most Saturdays. "Why are you calling me?  
-It is for a quick stroll in town. Can you go with me?  
-I would like to, but I can't! A meteor blocked the door of my house!"  
The author is incredulous about this specific situation. After all, they never watch the news, but because Abby lives in the same town as them, the meteor's impact should have caused a bit of noise.  
The author rushes to the nearest windows, where their telescope is. With the telescope, they looked at Abby's home. It turns out, she isn't lying: there's indeed a house-sized meteor in front of her entrance.  
"Sorry to hear that." Those are the closing words of the author.

Second is Bertha B., a science major living in the city. She doesn't speak English well, but she is the go-to person for anatomy, health, quantum physics and Pokémon catching. The author calls her.  
"Hello, Bertha.  
-Bonjour, auteur."  
The author makes the same proposal as with Abby.  
She replies: "Désolée, je suis en pleine partie de Scrabble avec Steve Rodgers, Dean Winchester et un manchot géant. Je ne peux pas aller à la ville avec toi. Désolée."  
The call ended.  
The author calls their third friend: Caillou, a wandering man who's homeless since he fled his home at a young age. Unlike Abby and Bertha, he isn't a childhood friend, but a well-educated tramp they met several years ago.  
"Hello, Caillou.  
-Oh, hello author? What are you doing?"  
The author looked at its cereal bowl. The remaining corn flakes are spelling out the word "succ".  
"Reading porn, as usual.  
-Oh, that's nice! Are you planning something right now?  
-I'd like to eat a kebab in the city."  
Caillou accepts. As the author goes outdoors, the corn flakes are spelling out the word "ouch".  
Caillou was waiting near the author's home, wearing his signature black bowl hat and cane. But as the two friends are walking towards each other, Caillou gets to see the author getting smacked by a flying kebab from nowhere.  
Caillou runs towards the unconscious author. "Author, are you fine? Author! _**Author!**_ "  
Caillou carries the author all the way through the nearest hospital in the city.


	4. Scrabble Party

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bertha plays Scramble with some unusual invitees

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Noot noot!

It's been four hours they started the game. But the Scrabble session between genius Bertha B., American patriot Steve Rodgers, demon hunter Dean Winchester and bratty giant Pingu didn't advance much. The main issue is that Pingu has trouble not just holding the squares, but also forming coherent words, as aside of two instances of "noot", he needed Steve's assistance to form existing, non-vulgar words from the 1940s American English lexicon.  
Pingu tries to play "XWQGFCK", which Steve declares is invalid.  
" **Noot noot!** ", Pingu shouts at Steve before slapping him with the force of a car hitting at 150 miles per hour.  
While Steve is lying on the ground, someone emerges do the scene from through the window, and says "Hey, can I play with you?" This is the voice of Joe the roe deer, whom Bertha was known for years since the author brought it at school every time.  
"What are you doing here?" asks Dean. "This isn't your home."  
Joe bluntly answers: "I self-inserted.  
-You what?" Dean is confused by the talking animal's reply.  
This is where Joe explains how he appeared: "I wrote a fanfic featuring Steve, Dean and Pingu. The two were supposed to hunt the latter, but I was bored and decided to have them play Scrabble with one of my owner's friends."  
The four other characters are visibly confused by Joe's claims. After ten seconds of silence, Pingu lets an angry " **Noot noot!** " at Joe.  
"Pourquoi es-tu venu briser la fenêtre de ma chambre?" Bertha asks.  
"For fun," Joe answers. "I was experimenting with my powers."  
Bertha tries to call the author for advice on how to raise a roe deer. The deer is wondering. "I probably should have given Pingu the ability to speak English. And give him super password-finding abilities. Yeah, that sounds fun."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Noot noot!


	5. Hospital night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The author wakes up at the city's hospital, except not really.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The opening chapters were too mundane, so I decided to add a small twist on it. Just a small one that may or may not change the story's orientation.

"Author, are you OK?"  
Those are the first words the author hears when waking up in his hospital room. They are alone, except for their friend Caillou.  
"Finally, you woke up!" the tramp ejaculates, crying with joy. As the tears hit the author's face, the first words they could say are: "Disgusting."  
The author asked him if they, the author, had a life-threatening injury from the kebab. Caillou shrugs, then ate a kebab in front of them.  
The doctor, a man with a toothbrush mustache, walks in the room, and says the the author with a strong German accent: "You might've been hurt, but this is a non-threatening injury. You can how go back home."  
The author was disappointed they didn't get to eat kebab on the streets, but at least they know they aren't dead. Yet.

As they walk to the exit, the author and the tramp realize they are not in the city, but rather inside a half-globe far from the Earth. Indeed, as they walk the marble-like ground, they recognize the Milky Way, visible from far away in the naked eye.  
"Well, what a twist," Caillou remarks, looking at the countless stars above his head. "At least I have a bottle of water with me in case aliens attack us."  
The author tries to call Abby and Bertha, but nothing happens. They really are far from home.  
So, both friends go back inside. The author asks the receptionist why are they in space. The receptionist answers, its head tilted with a confused air: "Pika Pi?"  
The author angrily punches the receptionist in the face in the face, before asking it, somewhat rudely: "Where the fuck is the boss' office?" They got no answer. "Let's run to every single room in this hospital", Caillou suggests. The author nods their head in agreement, and start looking at every single room in the hospital, starting with the first floor.


	6. Is this Interpol?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Meanwhile, at Abby's home, a dinosaur controlled by INTERPOL managed to eat the meal ball blocking her home.

Someone ringed at Abby's door. It's Chun-Li of Interpol, alongside her trusty Stegosaurus. As Abby opens the door, Chun-Li presents herself.  
"Chun-Li of INTERPOL. I was investigating the sudden rain of meat balls in ■■■■■■■■■■■, ■■■■■■. What did you witness?"  
Abby, who slept during the meat ball rain, began to stutter.  
"I... I have no idea. I n-never watch the news on the TV.  
-Well," Chun-Li is adjusting her triangular sunglasses. "I see you aren't influenced by the lies of television.  
-Lies?"  
Chun-Li drags down a tripod whiteboard with some doodles, and tries to explain the whole situation to Abby.

"You see, Cox News, the most popular news channel in the world, was brought by Sapientia, who claims to be an angel from Paradiso who'll save the world from "Earth parasites". Those "Earth parasites" are often wrongfully interpreted as Earth-dwelling demons or klaxosaurs, but are really humans. And Sapientia wanted to use Cox News to bombard human brains with false information to lure some planet-eating god to devour us, then get intoxicated by the false information so the angels can easily unleash the Age of Law: a universe devoid of free will where everyone worships ■■■■."

Abby stays mute, confused by all the information, until one minute later, where she says a small: "What?"  
Chun-Li facepalms. "Did I mangle the pronunciation of ■■■■ once again?  
-I don't know what ■■■■ is!" Abby ejaculates.  
Chun-Li puts her mouth close to Abby's ear.  
"You can also call it _**God**_."  
Abby gasps in shock. "But I like God! He has the fluffiest beard of all!  
-Maybe, but I am not here to discuss beards. I heard your family has an angel-punching giant robot in the basement."  
Abby nods her head, only to look downwards. "But only my dad knows how to activate it, and he still is far from home...  
-Don't worry. We can find him." Chun-Li rides her Stegosaurus. "Where does he work?  
-At some bakery," Abby answers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case you don't get it...  
> "■■■■■■■■■■■, ■■■■■■" refers to the city.  
> INTERPOL is, plagiarizing from Wikipedia, "an international organization that facilitates worldwide police cooperation and crime control" that "provides investigative support, expertise, and training to law enforcement worldwide in battling organized crime."  
> Also I didn't know the INTERPOL headquarters are in Lyon, France.


	7. Meanwhile, in Space

After hours of running everywhere, looking behind every door and inside of any trash can in the first five floors Caillou and the author find a large, golden door labeled as "the bos's office" [sic]. Caillou pulls the door with all his strength, without success.  
"Caillou, why don't you _push_ the door instead?", asks the author.  
Caillou stops pulling, stood still a few seconds, shouts "Hey, you were right!", slaps his face, and headbutts the door, opening it.  
Behind the door is an immense, yet empty room. Far from the door sits Dr. Yuuki, the director of the hospital, a Japanese woman with long auburn hair and a youthful face, dressed in a cream-colored sweater and steepled hands over her mouth.  
"It's been a while I last saw non-staff people in my room," she says in a stern, stoic tone. "Why are you here?"  
Caillou talks: "We wanted to go back to Earth. This hospital is lost in space!"  
Silence. Only a couple seconds later does Dr. Yuuki react, as stern as before: "What the Hell?  
-This hospital is in space, when we should be in Earth!  
-We are in SPACE!?" she loudly shouts. She raises from her desk, grabs a rapier, and runs to Caillou. "This is an emergency of the highest order! I, Yuuki Asuna, might have faced villains and pain multiple times in life, but **never** was I in such a ludicrous situation!

The author, Caillou and Asuna pick up the elevator to the highest floor. Here, they are meet with a muscular man of ambiguous ethnicity, dressed in a red-and-black attire resembling a Nazi uniform.  
With a wide grin in his face, he bows to Asuna, and speaks in a polite tone: "So my new host is waiting for me."  
"M. Bison!" Asuna shouts, pointing her sword at the not-really-a-Nazi.  
"I see you recognized my outfit." M. Bison laughs. "Anyway, how's your sex life?"  
Asuna reacts with shock. "How dare you say that!  
-Milady", M. Bison says, "I have the rights to ask that to any of my fian-"  
Caillou punches M. Bison in the face, interrupting his planned speech, while the author kicks the dictator between his legs. While Caillou beats down Bison even more, the author and Asuna walk to a control room with a single red button.  
"Should we push it?" asks the author.  
"We don't know what it does." Asuna answers.


	8. Meanwhile, on Earth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I love cupcakes!

Chun-Li and Abby were roaming ■■■■■■■■■■■, ■■■■■■, to the nearest bakery: Baby Blue Patisserie. The stegosaurus they were riding is parked in a nearby park, next to a white Volkswagen Beetle.  
But when the two women entered the bakery, they saw a gun fight between humans and what look like sentient humanoids made of meat. While the "meats" suffered a large body count, they are also spawning from a large spider-like robot with a slew of kebabs on its body.  
Chun-Li used her rapid-fire kicks on the robot, destroying it in a single 100-hit move and making it explode.  
Chun-Li asks the armed men and women where is Mr. H., Abby's father. They point out he's hiding in the kitchen, having a supposedly important call to someone important.  
Abby goes to the bakery's kitchen, open a closet, and finds a young man with generic short, black hair and dark eyes: her father. Seeing her daughter, he interrupts his call.  
"Abby? What are you doing here?  
-Interpol needs our robot to punch world-conquering angels!", Abby says.  
"Oh, the robot." Abby's father walks out from the closet. "I just got a series of calls from a friend. Also, what's up with angels?  
-Did you watch the news?" Chun-Li asks. Abby's father shakes his head in denial, before saying: "I was so absorbed by my new lover's discussions, I forgot to check the news."

They jumped on the stegosaurus' back, and go back to Abby's home. As the stegosaurus departs, the white Volkswagen Beetle mutters: "I love you..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise you, Abby's father's contact is going to be very important to the plot.


	9. Meanwhile, in Japan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's almost another planet, you know.

A bunch of Japanese politicians sit around a square table with a Piranha plant in the middle. One of them, Hiro, is drinking some milk in a bottle. Another, Jiro, is playing a mobile game with scantily clad girls. A third, Saburo, was watching the clock ticking until 3 PM, the time the reunion is supposed to start.  
Another person hastily enter the scene, slamming the and loudly saying: "Gomenasai, everyone! I almost missed my train, so I had to run like a madman!"  
"Quiet, Shiro!", Saburo says to the hasty man. "Sit down. It is time for the meeting to begin."  
Hiro burps. " **Quiet!** ", Saburo screams again.  
Shiro throws some pictures on the table. All of them feature robots with kebab on them, including the one Chun-Li kicked down elsewhere in the planet. "You know those killing machines, right?", Shiro says while breathing loudly.  
Hiro takes a close look at the pictures. "Of course! They are those new machines the Turkish army developed to destroy non-Turkish culture, right?"  
Saburo talks next: "They look scary indeed. But I can also see one women was able to knock out one of them effortlessly. This might be staged, but if she really did _that_ , then she could be a potential asset to any armed forces, including Japan. Does anyone agree with me?"  
Jiro stops staring at his phone screen. "Why, yes of course! She could probably produce strong babies for the future! Japan needed more babies and more healthy moms, so we **must** take her in our glorious country!" Jiro looks back at the cute loli on his phone.

"Jiro, you're the genius we all need." Saburo shakes Jiro's hand before resuming the meeting. "Glad to see our spying cars equipped with nanocameras did a formidable job once again."


	10. Honk honk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Getting an idea every day is hard.

While Herbie the while Volkswagen was following the stegosaurus, she finds a red paperclip lying on the ground. Herbie wants to grab it, but can't, because she has no arms.  
For one whole night, she tries again and again, without success.

Herbie is sad. So sad, she tries to send an electronic message to the Japanese government so they can grab it.


	11. Meanwhile, in the sky

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Boom.

A magical rainbow-farting pony flew above the skies of Tokyo, trying to spy on Hiro, Jiro, Saburo and Shiro, only to explode because a Pachirisu used the move Thunder on it. The pony lands on a kebab stand, irradiating both the kebab maker and its kebab and turning them into a mess of multicolored, sparkling flesh and eyes that slowly crawls in the streets, eating every car on its path. The Pachirisu tried to stop its progress by grabbing it in the back, without success.


	12. Attack of the Flying Animals

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Is it a plane? Is it Superman?  
> No! It's a bird! Wait, never mind, it's actually another animal.

The Mayor of ■■■■■■■■■■■, ■■■■■■ eats over 10kg of prickles when a pig went through the window. He eats the pig whole.  
His secretary, John Cena, walks up. "Yo mayor, did you see today's forecast?  
-I did, John. Today's forecast is pigs day.  
-I'm hunting them. Real men hunt." John Cena loads his Desert Eagles, all eleven of them: five at each hand, and one that automatically fires by John's thoughts and is strapped at his penis. "Real men hunt pigs. And whoever's making them rain."

But as John Cena runs outside, he meets his nemeses, the Pigmasters: Bastian Schweinsteiger and Till Lindemann, dressed as Nazis and riding a pink Beetle with pig ears and snout. In the front of the car is a pig generator.  
"Burn, pussy, burn!", Till screams, wielding his twin crotch-mounted flamethrowers while driving. "This town will be filled with delicious pigs in seconds!"  
Bastian, seeing John Cena, prepares his vuvuzela. "Watch out Till, John Cena is coming!" He blew his vuvuzela, but can barely hurt John. John leaps, then unloads all his guns, making the pig generator explode, but not the car, before landing in his hands.  
"Retreat, retreat!" Those are the last words John hear from Till and Bastian as they flee.

Far, far away from ■■■■■■■■■■■, ■■■■■■, Bastian sends a text message from his phone. "Ada, we failed to conquer this city by ourselves."


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A calm day in some farm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've got to admit, it was hard to come up at ideas for every chapter, every day.

Somewhere in a farm in the middle of the US of A, a farmer named Bob was collecting corn in a huge corn farm. It looked like a perfect year for his struggling business.  
Then, the farmer looked at the scorching sky: a space object is flying above him. In fact, it is a fireball going to land to the farm. It crashed right in front of Bob  
After the impact, the author, Caillou and Asuna escaped from the burning hospital and run all the way to the motorway before the farmer can see them.  
All Bob can do to the unexpected event is scream "No" and cry. As he continues to sob, M. Bison emerged from the spatial wreck, bareheaded and his costume tattered. As M. Bison stands on top, he detects a strong aura on Bob, and declares:  
"I sense in you a strong aura. An unusually powerful killing intent with lots of potential, surrounded by way too much kindness." He reaches his arm to Bob. "Come, my future vessel of Psycho Power... And become part of me!"  
While Bison laughs maniacally, the very next thing Bob does is call the police.


	14. Hitchhiking

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The author, Caillou and the girl do hitchhiking.

The author, Caillou and Asuna walked from the farm to the highway, with no other car or living being in sight, except for a flappy bird who shits on Caillou's hat.  
"What the fuck is that?", Caillou ejaculates.  
"If this is a bird, then I've never seen that bird before", Asuna answers. "It has a face that composes half its face. Its peak resembles lips. It can barely fly, only flap its wings.  
-I call it "flappy bird"". Caillou then wipes out the poo on his hat.  
The author, bored, writes a story from their phone.


	15. Criminals United

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> M. Bison is thrown at some jail in Colorado.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Because this chapter takes place in a jail, I might add references to prison rape somewhere.

In the tallest mountains of Colorado is a high-security prison surrounded by landmines and stealth rocks. A few corpses are still caught by the rocks.  
Among the prisoners are Ultros, an octopus-like purple creature with sharp teeth, Crazy Hand, a laughing left white glove with constantly moving fingers, Ron Weasley, a red-headed magical supremacist, and Zangief, a Russian thong-clad wrestler with a hairy chest.  
They are watched by a man in a dog suit named Watchdog, who silently overlooks the criminals in captivity.  
The newly arrived M. Bison is put on the same cell as Ultros, who hugs Bison and even puts one of his tentacles on Bison's pants.  
"Can we shower together?", he asks.  
M. Bison answers: "I only select girls for that purpose. Also, your Psycho Energy potential is way too low."  
"Hey, Mister Bison," says Ron Weasley to Bison. "What bad stuff did you do lately?  
-Well, I was conquering space civilizations with the help of my EMP-powered satellites.  
-But weren't you defeated by some girl with a heart-shaped magical stick?  
-True. After being defeated by Sakura Kinomoto in my attempt to control Tokyo, I was reborn in the Shadaloo base in Venus. From here, I tried to take over a space hospital, but got stopped by Asuna Yuuki and two random dudes.  
-Well, that's lame." Ron Weasley draws a magic wand. "I went to jail because I burned down an orphanage of muggle cats."  
M. Bison smiles, glad to hear a bad deed from Ron. "You'll be a fine subject."  
Crazy Hand pushes Bison's head with its index, tripping him. Crazy Hand laughs uncontrollably.  
"This is no time to brawl, glove," Ron says. "Mister Bison, do you have a good escape plan?"


	16. Je ponse, donc je suis

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A small philosophical episode.

In a super market in Tokyo, a sander has a chip added by a ninja with pantsu on its head.  
The sander then ponders over its existence.  
"Am I dreaming? What is this world? I can see colors and shapes. I can see the sky and the ground. I can see trees and buildings. But I have no eyes."


End file.
